Audio/Video
Download or stream MP3 files, view video clips of live performances and find out
once and for all what the hell the lyrics are to your favorite songs.
Buy the new Enhanced CD: bLEEd
You wouldn't believe how much cool stuff we crammed on this for ya. How
about two live videos, a concert footage compilation video and a
behind-the-scenes video of the recording of bLEEd! Plus a cool .pdf file that's
chock full o'
high-resolution pictures that you can print out and draw mustaches on. Or at
least, that's what I did. Not bad for ten bucks, huh?
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THE
MISSING:: bLEEd
"This is a dark sound that spells rage...and I would say it definitely has a sadomasochistic charm to it..."
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You can also get 'em at amazon.com:
You can now get our CD at Best Buy. That kinda rules.
- MP3 files
Who doesn't love a free sample? Or six? We made nifty
little soundbytes for ya so that even if you have a slow P.O.S. computer like
mine, you can still enjoy them. Or not.
- Lyrics
I am
finally breaking down and posting lyrics (which I had never done previously 'cuz
I always thought that it was kind of pretentious). But we've got a big show
coming up, and we're doing songs I haven't even sung or even listened to in over
10 years, and I kinda don't remember the lyrics.
- Streaming Audio
Got a taste and want more? Stream the audio for free
over at MySpace.
- Apple iTunes
Yup, we're finally up there. Download your favorite
tracks for just 99 cents. What could be better? We're also on
Rhapsody,
Liquid Digital,
MusicNet and
MusicNow.
- Full-length MP3s
Lots o' people have been bugging me to post a full song,
and so I'm finally giving in to peer pressure. Here it is, you sick little
monkeys!
- Satellite Radio
Bored? Nothing to do? Whittle away the mindless hours of
your life by sending emails to
XM Satellite Radio and asking them to play our stuff.
- Videos
Download and view a short, digital video clip of "boogeyman" shot at
The Birch Hill or
full-length videos of "belief" and "scary kitty" shot at CBGB. (Even
with a cable connection, the full-lengths take a minute or two to pop up, so
be patient.) And if
you're a loser like me and still have dial-up, I recommend taking a day off
from work to download them. (Or you can skip the whole download process and
get our new CD; we stuck the video files right
on it!) Need
a RealPlayer? Get one here for FREE!
- Out of Print CDs
Four song EP
Poor Dolly is available at
amazon.com for those of you who
are still living in the past. However, it is now out of print and they only have a few copies left.
Once they're gone, they're gone forever!
- broken
the clock ticks down the time draws near
you already know what you don’t want to hear
you can’t solve this puzzled mind
you’ve never lost (there’s always a first time)
don’t look back when you are free
everything will burn with me
i am set on self-destruct
and the clock ticks down
my time has come
5…4…3…2…1
just run
just run from me
i never lied i warned you then
once more i try and i fail again
all the hell that i’ve put you through
see what have i done to you
i’m killing you, you must believe
i will drag you down with me
i am set on self-destruct
the clock ticks down
5…4…3…2…1
just run
just run
i am eating you alive
save yourself because you can’t save me
you can fool yourself but tell me. . .
at what price salvation?
at what price salvation?
tell me at what price salvation?
tell me at what price salvation?
save yourself because you can’t save me
i never lied i warned you then
once more i try and i fail again
all the hell that i put you through
dear god what have i done to you?
i’m killing you, you must believe
i will make you burn with me
i am set on self-destruct
5…4…3…2…1
just run
just run
i am eating you alive
at what price will my salvation be?
you can save yourself
but you can’t save me
at what price salvation?
tell me at what price salvation?
tell me at what price salvation?
save yourself because you can’t save me
you can’t save me
you can’t heal me
you can’t help me
you can’t fix me
i am
broken
- belief
once when i had faith in the world
i thought people got what they deserved
i was so young and so naïve
now i’ve grown i’ve changed my mind
the world and god are really not that kind
but still i clung to my beliefs
still i believed
but when only a stone says you were here
(has it been that long?) these years
have passed but i’m still in disbelief
in disbelief
and all the times i’ve been betrayed
they take my soul and they throw it away
and once again i am deceived
and i bleed
i bleed
you tell me what is justified
how fair is love or war when children die?
is there no hope and no relief?
when right is oft repaid with wrong
i guess the meek will never beat the strong
so much for faith and my beliefs
do i believe?
i believe…
i believe
i believe
i believe in what i see
do i believe?
- in two
i am split in two
sometimes i want to be a saint
i wanna wallow in my sleaze
one minute i’m a goddess
and the next a bitch, diseased
today i want to save the world
and tomorrow watch it burn
i come by my lessons painfully
then forget all that i’ve learned
when i want to
i want to
i want to
when i want to
i want to
i know what i want
i want everything
i know what i want
i want nothing
i want to make you happy
then beat the smile from your face
i will become your downfall
and your saving fucking grace
i want to be a virgin
i want to fuck you ‘til you bleed
i will worship you then spit in your face
i don’t want who i need
but i want you
i want you
i want you
when i want you
i want you
i know what i want
i want everything
i know what i want
i want nothing
i wish for happiness
when my mind becomes my hell
but sometimes there’s comfort in my pain
‘cause i know it so well
i want to slay the demons
that still haunt me day and night
but sometimes i’m grateful for my fear
it reminds me i’m alive
but i hate to
i hate to
i hate to
but i hate to be afraid
no matter who you think you see
it’s only ever half of me
inside my head is deafening
please help me
all i want is for this to stop i want all this to stop i need all this to stop please god just make it stop dear god please make it stop god damn it never stops fuck me just make it…
and i pray
for some silence
why am i two i's?
the pain is slowly killing me
the war that others cannot see
it's what i go through
'cause i am
in two
i am split in two
- scary kitty
crouched in a corner
you patiently stalk me
you watch in silence
you wait for me
slinking through shadow
you think that i don't know
coiled and twitching
the tension is maddening
wanting to claw me
to leap out and maul me
scratch me bite me
love me fight me
you fear yet adore me
but still want to claw me
under the table
behind a chair
watching me with your cold stare
i am the mouse - i slink
you prey upon me
i got to hide from
scary kitty
you're purring so sweetly
whenever you greet me
then without warning
you're vicious and clawing
scratch me bite me
love me fight me
rip me tear me
stalk me scare me
bite me scratch me
try to catch me
did you miss me?
why won't you kiss me?
did you miss me?
won't you kiss me?
- screaming inside
once i stood on the brink
as i had done many times before
and when i finally stepped across
i'd thought it through
wanted no more
but it hurts me now as it did then
to think i'd never hurt again
when i think of that september day
it's no mere memory
for i am there
a slow dawning that this was wrong
a wasted life just thrown away
the lights dwindled
the sounds echoed
and i had changed my mind
but i thought it was too late for me
and as the dark crept in
i was screaming inside
i wanted to live
i wanted to change
i didn't want to leave here
wanting more
and all the things i hadn't done, would never do
seemed so completely wonderful
and everything in the world seemed
so beautiful
i could not remember what had been
so bad to come to such an end
dear god i have not finished here
what have i done?
but it's too late
and i thought how
stupid
shameful
wasteful
useless
pointless
selfish
foolish
but i thought it was too late for me
and as the dark crept in
i am screaming inside
i want to live
i want to change
to start over
i screamed it out loud
i will live
i will not die
i will not die
i will not die
in this way
in this place
wanting more
- boogeyman
“my mommy always said there were no monsters, no real ones…but there are”
no lilypads for mommy
the jaws that dragged you down
and as you breathed your life away
were you surprised he’d been around?
the marks of Camels and cowboys
circles of your pain
and as he beat your life away
were you surprised he bore her name?
he's what you know
he's what you fear
who needs hell when he’s already here?
he's not where you think
in your closet, beneath your bed
when you see through the lies
that they've always said
because the lights won't chase him
and the covers won't save you
by the time you see his face
he's already got you
hush little baby don't you cry
momma's gonna sing you a lullaby
gunshot ripped through your playground
screaming as you fall
and as you bled your life away
were you surprised he was so small?
he's what you know
he's what you fear
who needs hell when he's already here?
he's not where you think
in your closet, beneath your bed
when you see through the lies
that they've always said
because the lights won't chase him
and the covers won't save you
by the time you see his face
he's already got you
sometimes grownups even fear his name
as your sickness grows
and as they blame your life away
were you surprised he killed so slow?
he's twisted, burning metal
he's cold, deep water
he's a tightly clenched fist
he's a bullet, he's your mother
he's an animal, he is fire
he is hunger, he's disease
he is always the last thing
that a child ever sees
monster!
monster!
monster!
MOMMY!
- bleed
when the voices whispering
have become unkind
i try to shut them out
but they will not die
i can't push the urge away
searching for release
to let what's inside out
help me please
when i'm lost and beaten down
until i'm numb again
i remember i'm alive
the only way i can
i will hide it all away
so you cannot see
i only punish myself
in secrecy
this is what i get
this pain is all i need
it's better when i hurt myself so
just let me bleed
any damage that you see
is covered up by lies
it is only from myself
that i cannot hide
through the years i have not learned
to accept my shame
but this i learned from no one else
i am the one to blame
this is what i want
this pain is all i need
it's better when i hurt myself so
just let me
bleed
maybe one day i'll be free
of my disgust and doubt
i don't need your pity please
i'll find my own way out
maybe one day i'll have the strength
that i hope to find
but 'til then i'll take the blade
just one more time
this is what i am
i wish i did not need
i'm sorry but i hurt myself so
just let me
bleed
just let me bleed
- justice
you show your affection
with fists of rejection
an innocent woman
should not need protection
how can you beat her?
you scar and mistreat her
your sick love's a crime
now all her pain is mine
for each tear in vain
i have shed in her name
i will find you and teach you
the meaning of pain
how you will suffer
you beat her, then fuck her
your twisted addiction
now face your conviction
make her bleed
you wanna make her bleed
you wanna make her bleed
why don't you hit on me?
you wanna hit on me?
so this is how you think
a man's supposed to act?
you beat on women
'cause they don't hit back
hit on me
coward!
so this is how you think
a man's supposed to act?
you beat on women
'cause we don't hit back
hit on me
justice!
-
lead into gold
alchemists, poets, scientists
have learned what i don't know
love is blind (and deaf and dumb)
a dead weed cannot grow
just let it go
you think you see the light inside
but he is still the same
the thug he was is the thug he is
some things never change
they never change
i tried
to find a diamond in the rough
i lied
to myself but it wasn't enough
he was so uncouth, unkind
i know i had been told
now my eyes are open wide
it's true
you can't turn lead into gold
can't turn lead into gold
no blood from a stone
just leave it alone
and watch your own
i tried
to find a diamond in a pile of shit
i lied
to myself and i'm sick of it
a stitch in time could save my mind
to learn before i'm old
no matter how fucking hard you try
you
you can't turn lead into gold
you can't turn lead into gold
-
dying room
in a forgotten place, a child's face
old beyond her years
her body caged, my soul enraged
she's drowning in her tears
though they may deny you
(and i know they'll try to)
i cannot help but wonder
will no one help her?
a china doll, but less alive
her time in this world
her only crime the same as mine
to have been born a girl
better i should suffer
than to watch another
one so small can do no wrong
child -- where's your mother?
oh, mother!
can no one tell me how a mother
can give away her own?
cast aside, left to die
all alone
can no one tell me how a person
can say that this is right?
all the guilt, shame, blame
do you sleep at night?
can no one tell me the purpose
of being born only to die
little children, angels
hear them cry
in a forgotten place, a child's face
old beyond her years
her body caged, my soul enraged
i'm drowning in my tears
they say the blame is thought to be
a one-child policy
but you were sent to
the dying room
Mei-Ming, i'm so sorry
i'm sorry
-
family values
what's the purpose of loving each other?
sent from up above, thrown to the gutter
in a mother's tears, a child is crying
slowly through the years, her child is dying
help is never found
lord -- are you around?
run from the night
(is it cold in the light?)
i'll hold you close as you die
hate can never be what is right
never fix what is wrong
and it can never see what is the truth
it's affecting us all
but not effecting us all
the dead that walk among us are the proof
all the lessons of time
they have never been kind
has all that we have fought for been a lie?
will we learn how to live
like we know how to die
my friend is dead; you tell me why
safe in daddy's arms
you will find me
if he were around;
where can he be?
who should i believe?
when love is danger
how can i conceive
to love a stranger?
time is running out
can we turn around?
look deep inside
and you won't have to hide
we're near the end of the line
innocence is such a precious disease
don't turn your back
on the ones that you need
just let it go free yourself from the pain
you've been enslaved
by your own guilt and shame
leave it alone i'll be right by your side
just give me your hand and together we'll fly
as you die
hate is not a family value
hate
hate is hate
-
always you
every time i look into your eyes there's a change in me
what is it that you cannot disguise? (do i really want to see?)
it's a river rising, overflows its banks and drowns its people
everything that dares to cross its path is dead
everything that dares to cross its path is
dead
thought i knew you all too well then you go and change my mind
how could someone be so cruel so cold i missed the signs
and when i asked myself the question that i already knew
the answer i was looking for, unclear
tell me – who are you?
tell me – who are you?
tell me...
you rear your head just when you please no rules, no reason
and leave the bed of my sanity undone
there's something deep within this beast within this beauty
it does not sleep and it will never let me be
let me be
it will never let me be
never let me
again i smile but it fades away
to be replaced by another but it's different in some way
things i cannot think about
well it's not so deep and i know that it wants out
i try to run and i try to hide
but i can't escape the voices from inside my mind
it's true
it's the other side of me
you
thought i knew you all too well then you go and change my mind
(tell me)
how could someone be so cruel so cold i missed the signs
(show me)
and when i asked myself the question that i already knew
(fuck me)
the answer i was looking for, unchanged
i was always you
i was always you
you're just another side of me
i was always
you
-
bullet
you can keep me down no longer
you took my heart you took my soul away
you drained me of my power
my look had changed, my life had gone astray
i knew i was becoming
the woman i had put down all my life
and now i realize
the damage
that you did to me inside
don't want you back again...
bullet in my head
it's like a bullet in my head
i used to wish i was dead
from the things that she said to me
bullet in my head
she’s like a bullet in my head
she was a bullet
in my head
i gave you the light inside me
you burned it out and you destroyed my pride
you're the one i called a liar
but deep inside i knew that it was i
you know you made my mind
a living hell
from which i cannot hide
it's there i have to face
the hate for you
that fucks me up inside
don't want you back again...
i called you my friend
but you're a
bullet in my head
you’re like a bullet in my head
i used to wish i was dead
from the things that she did to me
bullet in my head
she's like a bullet in my head
she was a bullet
in my head
i called you my friend
you bitch!!
you were a
bullet in my head
you were a bullet in my head
i used to wish i was dead
from the things that you did to me
bullet in my head
you're like a bullet in my head
you were a bullet
in my head
you know i wish you were dead
i'll put a bullet in your head
-
i scare you
you want strong but not too loud
you want a barbie that is real
you want me to pour my heart out
then you try to tell me it's not how i should feel
you want tact
you want tame
you want another precious jewel
you're a fool
well i know what you think and it's always the same
i won't play that part and i don't wanna play that game
you can't change me i know that you want to
tell me...
do i scare you?
who are you to tell me
what i should or want to do?
this is who i am
i don’t care what "womyn" play
and i won't change my mind just to please you
you want safe
you want sane
you want emotion but control
i don't think so
well i'm not what you think but it's always the same
i don't fit that part and i will not play your game
you cant hurt me i know that you'll try to
i know
that i scare you
boo!
i know what you think and it's all the same
i won't play that part and i will not play your game
you can't stop me
don’t try to
i like
that i scare you
-
listen
you can hear it in a world unseen
as it is stripped away by a vast killing machine
the earth is soaked with blood
and as the bodies mount i feel there is enough
of the silence
what is happening to our world?
i don't know
and i ask you
is there any hope for our twisted world at all?
is there any hope for our desperate, twisted world
full of silence?
you can hear it in a city slum
or in the sharp report of a child's smoking gun
a virus sweeps the land
meanwhile another woman dies by her husband's hand
she is silenced
what is happening to our world?
i don't know
and i ask you
is there any hope for our twisted world at all?
is there any hope for our desperate, twisted world
full of silence?
you can hear it in a child's cry
as a vulture sits and waits for her to die
you say there is a god
if there is i ask you
where is your god now?
he is silent
and their bellies are empty
and their eyes are full
of a life they lost
and a hope they never had
the streets they call their home
tell me...why is it that we cannot feed our own?
the meek shall perish
there's nothing to inherit
unless there's change
we are drowning
in the silence
listen
listen to the sound of silence
listen
listen
-
plague
I don't even know where the lyrics for this song are. When I find it, I'll post
it.
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